What's In A Word?

I have watched and listened with great interest over the last two years, as I observed people choosing special words to accompany them throughout their year. The first year, the concept intrigued me, the idea of one little word to last the whole big year...  Year two, I had warmed up to the idea, but was still in the throes of my battle to finish growing Liam, and didn't have the resources to think that clearly.

Over the last few months, I've been doing some serious thinking about...  well, myself.  My behaviours, my attitudes, my appearance - you get the idea.  It seems like this fall, several things intersected (you know, like the Bermuda Triangle) to bring me a new realization.  I started a new Bible Study , I attended (most of) an Intro to Women's Studies class, I read a few interesting books...  and I had a shocking realization.  

I'm not perfect.

Really, I'm not perfect.

In fact, although I do many things very well, and am in general a pretty swell gal - I'm extremely far from perfect!  This led me to a whole 'nother shocker...

That's okay.

Now, you may have come to this place long, long ago, and have a little smile on your face that's it's taken me over 30 years to see this glaringly obvious fact, but I can't even begin to tell you of the effort I have spent, the mental/physical/financial/emotional resources I have used, running around like a crazy person, trying to attain something that is unattainable.  It's ridiculous, really.

I've been turning this idea around in my head for a while now - and I will admit, it still hasn't totally taken root.  And once it does, I shudder to think of the habits and behaviours that are going to have to change, because they're all about false perfection.  You know what I mean by false perfection, right?  Trying so hard to keep it all together, to appear kind and gracious, to never let anyone see all the cracks and mistakes and flaws.  Even typing these words gets me tense - I can feel my back and neck muscles start to tighten up, and my stomach churns a bit.  

So this year, as I began to read other people's blogs, and see what words they were choosing for themselves, I just knew.  This year is all about embracing the imperfect.  Because imperfect is what I'm all about!

That decision made, I found myself in a new quandary.  People like to make some kind of physical representation of their word, to honour it and keep it at the front of their thoughts as they go through the weeks ahead.  "What should I do?", I wondered.  What would be the perfect way to show that I'm embracing imperfection this year?  Sigh - there I go again...

 

So this is it - my handwritten word (in the handwriting that's never been quite perfect enough), on a simple sheet of paper, with the first pen I grabbed from the pen jar (which turned out to be a Sharpie - why is that in my pen jar?).  I have it tacked up by the computer, hanging from the bottom of my calendar.  It's rough.  And imperfect. 

But then, so am I.

Comments

[Judy G.]

Everything we do, every project we undertake, whether it is knitting or growing a new person, helps us to deal with our imperfections. Every small success we have helps us to realize that while a lot of it is destined to remain unrealized, we are positively brimming with potential. How sad it would be to have nothing to strive for! I have danced around this for years; thanks for putting it so succinctly.

[Abi]

Wow, Charity, you have certainly given me a lot to think about. I have never come across the one little word project before and I am now at the point you were at three years ago...very intrigued. Thanks so much for sharing this with us. I look forward to you sharing your insights on how this project manifests itself through the year.

[KnitPastis]

Happy New Year to you and your family! I saw all the snow you guys got, wow!

[Poppins]

What a wonderful word.

I know exactly what you mean about 'false perfection'. That rang really true.

I actually went into counselling for perfectionism when I found out I was pregnant with my first child. I didn't want to be that kind of mother, the kind I worried I might be. It was fascinating.

[Jo]

Fabulous word Charity, and perfectly imperfect for 2009!

[marianne]

Charity, Dearheart, you tickle me. and no, I'm not making fun of you at all. I wouldn't do that, ever.
Imperfect? sure, that's the Beauty. But then, once you get to the authentic person inside? You are perfectly yourself. :^)
XOX

[Barbara M.]

My sister and I have a running joke about our family.... full of issues, like most families, with the standard divorces, alchoholism, and problems. We no longer call our family dysfunctional.... we refer to it as "charmingly flawed." We recognize (now that we are adults, with families of our own) that we are who we are thanks to those flaws. And honestly, we are both pretty nice people. No more blaming the previous generation... they tried hard and did the best they could.

And we are all imperfect, but very interesti!

[sarah]

I am proud of you! I think to many times I am the same if my knitting is not perfect it must be ripped back and made so..... Unless by some blessing I have already cast off and then discover it. Some one once said to me that the only thing perfect in life is god, and there is no way anything else should be perfect.
SO when I do make a mistake I think good Now I know I am not god ( to much responsibility) and try to move on with life.
I think that you are perfect how you are and Your "imperfections" Make you, you and I really like you!

[Sarah]

Great word Charity - definitely one to embrace for us all as there is so much focus on 'perfect' out there!

[Arianwen]

We all strive perfection but, the truth is the faults are what make us human and are the reason other humans like us! Have a wonderful new year perfect or otherwise.

[Rebecca]

Wonderful, thought provoking post. I think your choice of word is excellent and brave too, well done you.

[colleen]

now we can totally hang out, 'cause I'm not perfect either!
and guess what? I loves ya anyway!

[fiberjoy.wordpress.com]

It's good to come to terms with the inability to be perfect. There is a freedom in acknowledging this. I take great comfort in knowing that "He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it" (rough paraphrase of Phil 1:6)
Beth Moore is a dynamic teacher, the study looks good!

[PS~Erin]

This is huge! Thank you for writing this post and sharing it with us. I think women everywhere (especially me) would feel a sense of relief just by trying to embrace imperfection.

[Charity]



[PS~Erin]

Do you mind if I link to this from my blog. I think this is the perfect thing to keep in mind right abt now.

[school_dubl]

Hi Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, a cool site I like